Moderating

Since I started playing SWTOR MMO, I haven’t done any writing. When I go to the computer room, I turn on my gaming laptop instead of my MacBook. So, tonight I cleaned up my bedroom and made space so that I can move my MacBook back in. This way in the morning when I wake up I won’t go downstairs and turn on my Gateway. Instead, I will stay in my room and turn on my MacBook. I just can’t have my gaming PC and my writing laptop in the same room anymore or I will not get anything done. The Star Wars MMO is just too freaking addicting. I want to level up to 50 already LOL. So, after tonight, no gaming for me unless I have done some writing. I know there should be an exercise plan involved as well but there isn’t oh well.

confidence

My confidence is kinda low right now. I just don’t know if my writing is good enough to get published. It’s getting better, which is better than getting worse. LOL. I think I’m a better writer than I was six months ago. There is a lot of stuff out there that gets published all the time that isn’t very good. And there are probably equally as many, or maybe more, good stuff that doesn’t get published.

hunter

I’m a hunter again. Woot. Cyborg Bounty Hunter Imperial in SWTOR. I can blast missiles from my bracers. LOL. So, needless to say, I didn’t get much writing done today. I need to practice moderation. This game feels slightly addictive, and I don’t want to get so sucked into it that I neglect my writing. Trade and general chat quiet atm, which is nice. I hope the game doesn’t get polluted WoW-style and won’t be as much drama. I definitely do not want drama. Right now, I am just enjoying the role playing and questing and class abilities and environments. There are a lot more character customization options in SWTOR than WoW. And of course the cinematic cutscenes are very cool.

Hey Jun!

Ryan Seacrest interviews a nervous Heejun Han before top 24 results in the Red Room.

Ryan: So, Heejun, what are you sweating?

Heejun: Mostly water.

ROFL. I love that guy. I hope he makes it through to at least the top 12. A lot of talent this season. But I’m like The Voice blind auditions more than Idol early rounds. Idol sucks before the (pre-taped) live shows.

sad ending

I am trying to write the ending to Crow’s story but it is so depressing to me. I know this is the right ending for the story, but it still sucks having to write it. I can’t seem to get the right words out, or have the energy for it. It’s a struggle just to write the last couple paragraphs. LOL.

J Lin

Okay, I don’t like to talk about politics publicly. At least, not too directly. But I have to say it, because I am so fed up with it and all the media about it. But really.

WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? Why are people racist toward Jeremy Lin? Is there something so strange about an Asian American male playing basketball and being good at it? Is there something inherently wrong about it? Why the racist remarks? And questioning his masculinity too? Why the ignorance and insensitivity? What did he ever do to you?

But mostly, why Jeremy Lin? I don’t get it. It’s not like there aren’t any Asian American male athletes. What about Hines Ward? He won a Super Bowl. And what about Olympic medalist Anton Ohno? Incidentally, both winners of Dancing With the Stars. And the most famous Asian American male athlete of all, Tiger Woods.

I really really don’t get it. It is hurtful and stupid. I can’t believe how ignorant some AMERICANS are. We will get behind our team to kill Osama Bin Laden, but we put a guy down who’s only playing basketball.

done with freaking WoW

Finally, deleted WoW from my computer. I feel so free.

done with WoW

writing the novel

I’m not going to give up on it. If I did I wouldn’t have an imaginary life to keep my real life going. Plus, I want to know what happens next. What happens after Rika wakes up? Do Rika and Julien win the war? Of course, in a fantasy love story, they have to, because we want our heroes to win. There was a lot of subplot that I left out of the story, so that I could tell this part of the narrative in a short story. Anyway, proceeding with the novel, I would have to think about how to develop their magic and resolve the challenges I presented. And find a way to make every sequence new and interesting and suspenseful. Anyway. I kinda miss online socializing. I might use that 7 day free pass Blizzard sent me to play WoW, but if I don’t get to kill Deathwing as they advertised, do I get a refund? LOL. I kinda miss my sexy hunter.

denial

Today, I’m doing the bipolar thing, denying I have an illness, wondering if it’s all just anxiety or something, and I was misdiagnosed. Or maybe it was all the coffee I drank, maybe that’s why I’m acting and feeling all weird and imbalanced, or maybe I really am having anxiety, because really, I am. LOL. I just deleted four posts, because I felt that I had written them spontaneously, I hadn’t thought things out.

GA/PP crossover event

IMO Private Practice is one of the most underrated broadcast TV dramas. It has such a talented ensemble cast, the characters are honest and authentic, and not gimmicky or eye candy like some characters in Grey’s Anatomy. Viewers will recognize the bigger names like Taye Diggs, Amy Brenneman, and Kate Walsh, but the Paul Adelstien and Kadee Strickland, who portray Cooper and Charlotte, really shined in this week’s episode. For those who don’t know, PP centers around a group of doctors who share a practice. Two of the doctors are psychiatrist, which is probably one of the reasons I relate well to this show.